Pajama

Yeah, okay, I'm really not here often. I'm just too lazy. :P

Finally I've come to a decision, I talked to a friend and that helped me to think over all the things that are keeping me down. The past is gone, I can treasure it but I have to be optimistic about the future. And live today. A lot of new things will happen in the near future (I'm moving, I want to try doing commissions, I will write the novel, I mentionend, and want to do illustrations and show them to a publisher). I want to see them as exciting and not frightening things and I hope I will be a lot more confindent in myself (although I know that I always have to push myself). So, whoohoo for the future! :D

I don't know but the last couple of weeks/months I'm feeling more and more lonely. I miss old times when my friends were by my side. I have still some very good friends living near me and I see them both a lot but I'm that kind of person thinking always about the past. Thinking of my best friend who had to die and won't come back ever again. I know all of her close friends and her family have to cope with this but somehow I'm to weak to manage it. And I'm feeling bad about being so selfcentered. I'm glad I have some good online friends with whom I can have fun chatting. I really appreciate it! But there is always this sadness that I can't